Silent White Island
by SoulfullyInclined
Summary: 2 a.m. at a sleepover. Jessi from BSC is in this. Contains cutting. I don't own anyone. *Life and quality of the story depends on the reviews*. *Please Leave More Than A 2 Word Review*. *Please Review*. *Be Nice/Kind*.
1. Chapter 1

Lizzie

I was in the downstairs bathroom, bleeding from my recent cutting session, holding a tissue over my wrist. It was 2 in the morning. I was using the downstairs bathroom because I didn't want any of my friends to know what I had just done. We - my friends, kate, karen, Keisha, reba and Vanessa - were all at a sleepover's at Karen's. The door to the bathroom was unlocked but closed. I heard a knock. I was afraid but curious. I was afraid bc I didn't want anyone to see what I was doing. The knob turned and Jessi, my friend Reba's older sister stepped in. She was aware that someone was in the bathroom but she hadn't seen who it was yet.

"Hi just came in to get some-" she started rifling through the drawers, the medicine cabinet and the closet. then saw me.

I looked like one of those artworks you'd find on deviantart: Legs splayed out in front of me, long cream coloured short sleeve nightgown, a pattern of scars and cuts up and down my arms. Sitting against the tub. When she saw me, her face fell.

"Oh Lizzie," she said in a sympathetic sad voice.

My eyes were brimming with tears. I was embarrassed.

"I'm sorry."

Jessi came further into the bathroom and closed the door. She got the pads and then came over to me, sat down, the pads on the floor next to her, on the other side.

I was apologising for cutting, for not dealing w/ my emotions in healthy ways.

"Lizzie," she told me shifting. "it's not your fault."

I hadn't learned to accept this even if my friends had.

"I know but…"

"How bad is it?" she asked.

I showed her my arm it was still bleeding.

"Oh," was Jessi's surprised reaction.

She crossed her legs. And took my arm and put it in her lap, pressing the tissue to the still bleeding cut. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. Everything in the bathroom was white. The rug was dark green. The shower curtain was clear. It was a silent white island, oasis in the middle of the dark. In the dead of the morning.

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	2. Chapter 2

"You want to go downstairs for some tea, or hot chocolate?" jessi asked me.

I nodded.

"I think Reba and Vanessa are down there."

"They're up?"

"They couldn't sleep."

"Oh. Ok."

She stood up leaving the pads on the floor. She opened one of the drawers under the sink and pulled out a gauze roll which she wrapped around my wrist, quickly and nimbly, fastening it with the surgical tape she'd gotten from the medicine cabinet. I stood, she put the gauze roll and surgical tape back. She went to the bathroom door and opened it. She looked back at me.

"Come on," she said; "let's go downstairs."

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	3. Chapter 3

We went out the bathroom, down the hall, stairs, through the living room and into the kitchen where Jessi's mom Keisha, Reba and Vanessa were sitting, talking at the round kitchen table.

Vanessa took one look at me and knew something was wrong. She was good like that. Perceptive.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I, um. I want some tea," I said simply, wondering where my best friend and girlfriend Kate was.

"She's still asleep," Reba answered my unasked question.

"So's Karen," Vanessa said.

The kitchen was quiet.

Keisha was standing at the counter reaching into the overhead cabinets and pulling down a ceramic teacup.

"What kind?" she asked.

"Um."

I wasn't sure.

"Honey chamomile's always good if you're having trouble sleeping. Which it seems like you are," Vanessa said looking at my arms. She was indicating that since I'd just cut it meant that I was having trouble sleeping.

"Yeah ok," I said.

"Why are you up?" I asked.

"We had trouble sleeping ourselves," Reba answered.

"Oh."

Keisha stuck the teabag in the cup, put some water in it and put it in the microwave setting the time.

At that moment Kate walked in.

"Hey kitten," she said coming over to me.

I smiled then let it go. I let it go bc I was sad.

A few weeks ago we'd watched The Runaways together and had become fascinated by the story of Cherie Currie and Joan jett. We'd also read 'Neon Angel' a great book. 'kitten' was what Cherie's father had called her.

"Hey," I said.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked.

I looked up at her. She looked down at my arms.

"Oh," she said her voice falling.

And that was all she needed to say.

"Why?" she asked.

"I don't know," I answered quietly.

She pulled me close.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Haley**

My girlfriend Kerry and I were naked, myself on top of her, in her bedroom, making out and moving against each other. We were listening to Joan Jett.

"This is really great music for. This," I said.

"What, you mean sex?" she asked.

"Well yes."

"Dude you can say it. You're usually not this reserved what's wrong?"

"I…..some'in's up."

I moved, pushing myself up onto my hands which were on the side of Kerry's body.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah I…at Vanessa's. We should be there, like, soon."

I was saying that we should be at our friend Vanessa's bc something was off.

"Alrite let's go," Kerry said without question.

She was used to my having 'off feelings' bc Vanessa often had them and since Vanessa and I were so close I'd picked up on them over the years. It used to be just Vanessa, myself and our friends Reba and Charlotte in our group. We'd been a group since elementary school. Then last year Kerry had joined us. Our newest members were Lizzie and her girlfriend Kate. And Karen. Lizzie and Kate had moved here from CA 'here' being CT. Karen already lived here.

Kerry was the younger sister of Logan, Mary Anne's boyfriend and the older sister of Hunter. Mary Anne and her friends - Mallory and Jessie - had started a babysitting club back in high school which is how we knew them. Vanessa was one of the several younger siblings of Mallory. Reba's older sister was Jessi.

Kerry was a force to be reckoned w/ and that's why I liked her. She was cool and angry and worked downtown at a strip club. Which her parents didn't know about. They thought those nights she was spending time w/ me. She didn't care what anyone thought of her. Bc she was a stripper she knew how to move her body and get what she wanted from anyone. I was cool but not as angry as she was. We smoked and sometimes got stoned w/ Hunter and his friends. He used to have allergies but had outgrown them. But having 'allergies' was a really good cover.

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	5. Chapter 5

When we got there Charlotte, Vanessa, Reba, Kate, Lizzie, Jessi, Keisha and Karen were all sitting in the living room. We hadn't bothered to get dressed before we drove over so I was still in her black bra and shorts Kerry in my white one.

Keisha looked up when we came in.

"Do you ladies want some robes, or. Something?" she asked.

"No thanks," I told her.

"Ok."

"You look happy," Vanessa commented.

"Yeah well, we were 'fore I had a feeling something was wrong."

"And you were right."

"So what happened?"

"I…." Lizzie began.

She was in a long white nightgown. Kate was holding her.

"She…." Kate began.

"Well you be the judge," Reba told us.

Jessi looked at her; "what?"

"Er not 'judge' as we don't judge people here. I'm not sure what I meant."

"That they could see for themselves."

"Right."

I noticed Karen was holding a cup of tea. She was sitting next to Lizzie.

On Lizzie's arms were new cuts.

"Why?" I asked simply.

"I don't know," she answered.

Oh.

"Oh."

"Sometimes we don't," said Karen.

"Do they hurt?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Oh shit why?" Kerry asked approaching Lizzie.

"Dude. We just asked her that," I said.

She looked at me; "I know. Sorry. I'm just surprised I guess."

As she moved towards Lizzie I noticed Karen eyeing my girlfriend. I looked at her.

'what she's hot?' she defended.

'I know she is. And I think that could be arranged, if you wanted to. Um. You know' I mouthed back.

Karen almost laughed; 'sleep w/ her?'

'well no not right away'.

'oh.'

Kerry sat on the other side of Karen and put her feet in her lap. Karen looked at her w/ longing. I went and sat next to Kerry.

"She likes you," I whispered to Kerry.

"Who?" she asked.

I nodded towards Karen.

"Oh."

"Where's Stacy?" Charlotte asked, of her girlfriend.

Vanessa looked at her; "I don't know honey. Do you want to talk?"

Charlotte nodded.

"Ok."

She stood moving towards Charlotte who also stood.

"People make me sad," Charlotte said.

"I know."

They left.

Charlotte while also shy was one of the most sensitive people I knew.

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